I remember my friend from the US not knowing what a Christmas bauble was. Perhaps they don’t have them in the States, but she thought I said ball ball, and on researching it on Google, she found a ball ball bauble, which was a bauble made to look like a hanging pair of balls. Christmas is sacred. That ball ball bauble producer went a step too far.
My father has actually been making bald balls. He has a self-image issue and he only allows photos of himself from the back, having revealed an ambition to write a memoir named From Turning Heads to Turning Stomachs. He’s started making his own baubles, filled with images of the back of his own head. The tree is now adorned with a combination of quite sophisticated antique baubles and the odd bald ball. He wouldn’t suffer a ball ball though, an aforementioned ballbag bauble. That would be far too crude.
When I was a child, he eccentrically decided to decorate the tree with coloured clothes pegs, thinking it would be a cool statement. He basically ruined everyone’s Christmas. Christmas isn’t artistically up for grabs. Christmas is one of the few things which somehow – despite how commercial it is – still resonates with me.
I’m actually quite Christmassy. A few years ago I made a Christmasometer, giving people the option to declare how Christmassy they felt as the days went on. It had different levels, ranging from not actively resenting Christmas to ‘too Christmassy for words’. It didn’t monetise. Nobody even did the poll.
Anyway, stay christmassy. But not too christmassy. Stay aware of the elements of Christmassiness that are hypocritical, but do so while being generally christmassy. What I’m saying is, don’t just be christmassy willy-nilly without giving a nod to its consumeristic nature and the fact that it’s a Christian holiday in the current climate. Anyway, just listen to my Christmas episode. It involves an interview with a Christmas expert from the University of Durham. Have a good rest of your Christmas.
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